Active listening is a communication technique developed by Carl Rogers that involves listening to the other person with full, non-judgmental attention and reflecting back what has been understood. It includes eye contact, welcoming silence, paraphrasing (restating in your own words), emotional reflection (naming the emotions perceived), and open questions. In coaching, active listening is fundamental: it creates the safety that allows deep exploration.
In practice, active listening stands apart from ordinary listening through one clear signal: the person being listened to feels heard, instead of sensing that the listener was only waiting for a turn to speak. This shows up in paraphrasing: being able to restate what the other person said in your own words, without adding to it or distorting it.
A client says: "I don't know what to do anymore, everything's piling up at once." Passive listening would immediately jump to advice. Active listening first paraphrases: "You're feeling overwhelmed by several things at once, is that right?" This gives the client room to clarify or correct before going further.
Active listening asks for more than staying quiet while the other person talks: without paraphrasing or visible signs of understanding, silence is only waiting.
A bit at first, the time to paraphrase, but it often saves time later by avoiding misunderstandings that would need to be untangled afterward.
Yes, even though it takes conscious effort at first. With practice, it becomes more natural and works equally well in a couple, in a family, or at work.
The other person generally feels relieved or clearer after being listened to, and spontaneously corrects the paraphrase if it's not accurate. That real-time feedback is a good indicator.
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