Empathy is the ability to feel and understand another person's emotions by putting yourself in their place, without merging with your own emotions (which distinguishes empathy from fusion). It differs from sympathy (sharing pain) and compassion (a wish to help). In coaching, empathy is a core skill: it creates the psychological safety that allows a client to open up and explore their vulnerabilities.
In practice, empathy means feeling with the other person without drowning in their emotion: understanding why a loved one is devastated without sinking into the same state yourself, which would leave you unable to help. Emotional fusion (sinking along with the other person) helps no one, empathy does.
A friend tells you they have lost their job. A sympathy response would say "that's awful, I'm devastated for you" (centered on your own emotion). An empathic response says "I can see how hard this is for you right now" (centered on what the other person is experiencing), while staying stable enough to listen and help them think through next steps.
Empathy is not sympathy (sharing pain to the point of being overwhelmed) nor compassion (wanting to help at all costs): it's understanding the other's emotion without merging with it, keeping enough distance to be useful.
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